All I'll Ever Need Read online

  “Never mind,” Holly tried to comfort him, “you never know what’s down the road for you, Branch. I say never give up hope, and go after whatever it is that you want.”

  “Even if it takes years?”

  “Of course. Even if it takes years.”

  “You’re probably right, Holly. We didn’t, either of us, know we’d be in college. Weren’t we lucky that Summit University gave us so many credits for our work experiences? You know, if we take courses this summer, we’ll be much closer to getting our degrees.”

  “Now you’re talking!” Holly gave him a wide grin and a high-five. “Let’s hit the books. Time is marching on, you know.”

  “That’s what I love about you, girl,” Branch said as he pulled books out of his book bag. “All you ever need is a chance and . . .”

  “That’s all any of us need. You know that. Just a chance. Branch?” Holly asked.

  “Yes?”

  “When we leave here today, can we stop at The Kwanzaa Book Shop?”

  “Of course, don’t see why not.”

  “It’s Mr. Harkins. He’s becoming quite a reader. Now he wants to read some books by black authors.”

  “Good for him.”

  “It’s really amazing to me, the excitement he shows about reading, current events, all that stuff. Wonder what he did for a living?”

  “You should ask him. Be interesting to find out.”

  * * *

  Ace was deeply disappointed by Elyse’s refusal to go out with him. He realized, however, that she was still grieving for her dead husband. Who wouldn’t? But all he really wanted to do for now was to give her a change of pace.

  He hung up the phone and went to the basement to check on his kiln. He had some new pieces that he had already fired, and by now the kiln was cool enough for him to retrieve them. There were small gift boxes and some ceramic pins, and he tried to duplicate some of the tribal masks he had seen in Africa.

  He had even replicated some of the ornate shields from Cameroon. There were also tiny bud vases, and he had experimented with a set of nesting bowls that he planned to decoupage much like his earlier work.

  As he worked, he wondered if perhaps he should not pursue the young widow. But remembering the feelings he’d had when she had stepped into his arms, it seemed she belonged there. As he thought about her beauty, her dark eyes with their slightly oriental slant, her lovely soft skin, her regal stature like a Nubian queen, he knew he had to get to know her better. Perhaps, he thought, time was what she needed. He remembered the phrase that time was a healer. He reasoned that perhaps time and patience would be on his side. And, as he recalled, she had been looking much healthier the last times he’d seen her at her store. The thought encouraged him. It could be that as she became healthier, her grief would subside and he would be there for her. One thing he did know, was positive about—he had never felt this way about a woman before.

  * * *

  The more people like her parents and brother were against her decision, the more determined Elyse was to go ahead with her plans.

  For over a quarter of a century, since those two English doctors had successfully succeeded in an effective fertility procedure, more than 20,000 babies had been born in England by that method. So why shouldn’t she have a baby that way? Elyse thought, reviewing in her mind what Dr. Barnes had told her. She surmised, too, rightly or wrongly, that despite her education and her successful business, many people viewed her as needing protection, needing to be sheltered from adversity, coddled, as it were. She had always had to try to make her own way, stand on her own ground; even her own husband had made it his personal goal to overprotect her. Why was it that no one saw the steel in her? The singular drive that she had always had, that no one could squelch?

  Finally Barry had given in when she opened her bookstore.

  “Got to hand it to you, babe,” he admitted. “You knew what you wanted, didn’t stop ‘til you got it.”

  “So,” she teased him, “are you proud of me, or what?”

  He had held out his arms to her, held her tightly, whispered, “Proud! I’m more than proud. I married me a very special woman. Just hope I can keep up with you. Leesy, you take my breath away. I’m the luckiest man in the world, and don’t you forget that!”

  Then his lips had closed over hers as he kissed her.

  She recalled that moment as if it were yesterday. She had lost the man she loved, but now it was possible not only to fulfill their dream, but to have a part of him. A real, tangible part, because he had loved her. She vowed that no amount of adverse advice from family or friends was going to stop her. God willing, she added in her mind.

  By the time she reached the store, she had decided to bring Emerald up to date on her progress. One thing she knew for certain. She had never before had a friend who was as selfless, always willing to help, smart and wise in the ways of the world as Emerald Stokes. Elyse realized what a treasure she had in this loyal friend. She hoped to God nothing would ever come between them.

  “Next week?” she announced jubilantly as she walked into the back room.

  Emerald took off her reading glasses and looked up at Elyse.

  “Next week?” she repeated. “What’s going to happen next week?”

  Elyse grinned at her friend, sat down at her desk, shed her shoes and whirled her chair around to face her friend. Their knees practically touching, she made direct eye contact with a puzzled Emerald.

  “My dear, dear friend, next week I have a big date with my beloved husband’s sperm! All systems are go, and we will be in the process of making a baby! His sperm and me!”

  Emerald shook her head, speechless for a moment. Then she saw the glint of tears that had welled up in her friend’s eyes. Impulsively, she slid her chair toward Elyse, wrapped her arms around her.

  “Oh, hon, I’m so happy for you. Your dream is coming true.”

  “So why . . . why,” she hiccoughed, “why am I crying?”

  “Shush, shush, all mothers cry. It’s almost part of the process, bringing a new life into the world. It may be an everyday thing, but it’s still an awesome, miraculous happening. So cry all you want.”

  The next few days went by in a blur of activity. Elyse had decided not to have Emerald accompany her for the fertilization episode. She had determined that she did not want to have anyone in the room. It was enough that there would be Dr. Barnes and the nurse. She planned to tune them out and focus only on Barry and their baby.

  With both legs in the cold metal stirrups, the whole episode seemed to her much like having a pap smear. When her legs were lowered, soft blankets were gently placed around her body as if she were a precious gift in a protective cocoon.

  Dr. Barnes appeared at the head of the gurney.

  “It’s all done, my dear. Rest for a while, then we’ll send you home. My secretary will call you for an appointment so we can do a pregnancy test. Then two weeks after that we’ll check to see if we have a fetal heartbeat. Okay?” He smiled and patted her shoulder. “You did just fine. I’m proud of you.”

  Chapter 15

  It was August, a very hot day, when Elyse first heard her baby’s heartbeat. Actually it was August eighth, a whole year since she had marked the calendar, checking Barry’s expected return home. Fleetingly, she wondered if she should attach any special meaning to the date.

  Dr. Barnes’s technician had come into the darkened room to prepare her.

  “This will only take a few minutes, but I promise you it will be one of the most exciting few minutes of your life.” She smiled at Elyse as she helped her get on the examination table.

  After positioning her on the table, she said, “We need to expose your abdomen.” She pulled Elyse’s blouse up toward her chest, lowered her slacks and covered her body’s lower half with a white sheet.

  “Now,” she explained, “this jelly will feel cool to the touch, but it makes it much easier for the sonar probe.” Dr. Barnes came in, his face wreathed with a warm smile. “
How are you feeling, Mrs. Marshall?”

  “I’m feeling well.”

  “Good. Now, let’s get on with our next step, shall we?” He asked the nurse for an instrument.

  He moved the fetoscope over her lower abdomen, and then she heard it. It roared into her ears like the thundering, repetitive pounding of the ocean as it beat against the shore.

  Tears welled in her eyes as she looked at Dr. Barnes for confirmation.

  He nodded, a smile of reassurance on his face. “All is well,” he said softly.

  “Awesome . . . it’s awesome,” she whispered.

  “You’re on your way now to becoming a mother, my dear. My work is done, and I’ve made an appointment for you. I’m turning you over to the best OB GYN man in the city. Dr. Anthony Kellogg is board certified, one of the smartest, nicest young men I’ve ever known. I guarantee he will take very good care of you. And please . . . keep in touch. If there’s anything I can help you with . . .”

  “Dr. Barnes, I don’t know how to thank you.”

  “Just be happy, stay strong. I’m proud of you and I know you’re up to the challenge ahead.”

  * * *

  “Elyse? Ace called while you were out. Says he’d like you to call him back. How did it go at the doctor’s?”

  “Em, I heard it! The baby’s heartbeat. It was . . . like I told Dr. Barnes, awesome! I really can’t describe it to you. Wait until you hear it!”

  “When are you going to tell Ace about the baby? You know, don’t you, that he really cares about you.”

  “He has been a good friend to me . . . to us both, and I’ll have to tell him.”

  “I don’t mean to butt into your business, Leese, you’re a big girl now, have already made some real monumental decisions,” Emerald waved her hand in an all-encompassing gesture, “and you certainly don’t need to listen to me, but . . .”

  “I know, Em, I know. I’m not trying to be evasive, but now that I’ve heard the baby’s heartbeat it’s all becoming real to me and, well, I’m trying to . . .” She hesitated for a moment, then sat down at her desk and turned to face her friend. Then she sighed. “I’ll call him tonight. You’re right, of course. He’s been nothing but kind and supportive and I owe him the truth about our relationship. I’d like to keep him as a friend. He really is a nice guy.”

  “I know that’s the truth,” Emerald said. Then she added, “By the way, that young girl was back in the store today. I think she’s a college student. Bought a thesaurus, and she asked me about ordering some nursing textbooks for her. Something about reference material.”

  “What girl are you talking about, Em?”

  “Remember the one I said that looked like someone I thought I knew but can’t place?”

  “Did you get her name?”

  “Holly Francis.”

  “Hm-m-m. Don’t think I know anyone by that name. You say you think she’s a college student?”

  “I do, Leese. Maybe you’ll be here the next time she comes in.”

  “Could be. You can point her out to me then.”

  As soon as she arrived home, Elyse changed into a comfortable robe and slippers. “It’s been quite a day, Sebastian,” she said to the cat, who had greeted her with a deep throaty purr. She wondered how he would react to a baby in the house. She’d heard something about the jealous nature of cats. Well, she’d cross that bridge when she came to it. Perhaps as her belly grew, the cat would accept the change in her body. She’d see.

  He watched her open a can of tuna from his vantage spot on the floor near her feet. His heavy tail fanned the floor in a wide circle as he kept his eyes focused on her task.

  “Here you go, my man,” Elyse said as she placed his feeding dish on the floor. She watched him for a moment as he greedily devoured the food.

  Her mind turned to Ace. She knew she had to call him. She wondered what he would he say when he learned about the baby. He had been so supportive in her bereavement, she hoped he knew how much she had appreciated that. She punched in his number, uncertain of what to say to him.

  “Yes, Ace, it’s me Elyse. Em said you called, wanted to talk to me. How are you?”

  His voice came back sounding warm and friendly. “Elyse! How you doin’? I’ve missed seein’ you.”

  “I’m fine, Ace. You sound good.”

  “Oh, I’m okay. Busy as ever, but I’m not complaining. Look, Elyse,” he stuttered, “I . . . I . . . I wonder if you’d like to have dinner with me sometime soon.”

  Surprising herself, Elyse answered quickly, “Yes, Ace, I would like that.”

  “Great! A curator from South Africa has brought South African artifacts to the Boston Museum of Fine Arts and I’d like to take you to see them. Then we can have dinner later. You’ve been on my mind so much,” he confessed breathlessly, as if he could not hold the thought back another moment. He waited for her answer.

  “Ace, a visit to the museum sounds just fine.”

  “Great, I’ll pick you up. What day and what time, Elyse?”

  “Let me think.” She hesitated for a moment because she needed time to think about the news she would share with him. Finally she said, “Today is Wednesday. Would Friday be a good evening?”

  His answer came quickly. “You bet!”

  Now that Elyse had tangible evidence that she was truly pregnant, she wanted Ace to know the truth. He was a warm, decent, friendly guy. Bright, interesting to be with, with lots of experiences to share, like his tales of his time in Africa.

  So how should she tell him? Would he remain a friend or . . .

  But now her baby, hers and Barry’s, was the major focus of her life. No one, nor anything, was as important. Her thoughts raced to her husband. He would be so happy.

  Emboldened by her decision, she made one other one.

  “Ace, I’ll meet you Friday in the museum lobby.”

  “I can pick you up,” he interrupted quickly.

  “No, this will be best for me, Ace. I’ll be there at seven.”

  Chapter 16

  When Elyse went to bed that night, her thoughts were on her date with Ace. She settled into a sound sleep, but it was Barry that came into her dreams.

  In her dream he explained to Elyse that he had come to a decision.

  “This night is going to be special. I’ve been thinking,” he said as he flung his jacket and briefcase on the sofa.

  “Why?” Elyse looked up at him as he bent over to kiss her. “Why special?”

  She had been looking through a new copy of a Victoria’s Secret catalog. With her forefinger holding open the page she was interested in, she waited for his answer.

  “It’s like this, honey. I want to spend as much quality time with you as possible. You know how much I love you, don’t want to be away from you for one second, but . . .”

  “I know, Barry. I hate the thought that you will be so far away from me . . . don’t know how I’m going to make it without you.” She teared up. It seemed to her that the closer they got to Barry’s deployment day, the more frantic their lovemaking became, knowing their time was limited.

  He knelt down in front of her, took the catalog from her, placed it on the floor, took both of her hands in his.

  “You will make it, sweetheart, because you are strong, and our love will see you through. And we’ll both have our memories to help us get through this temporary situation. Just be strong, honey, be strong.”

  Elyse showered quickly, found her excitement building as she wondered, would this be the night? She was tempted not to wear her diaphragm, but even under these circumstances, she would not cheat.

  On her return from the bathroom, Barry had drawn the sheets on their bed and invited her to join him. That memorable night began with touching, exploring, sending and receiving sensuous stimuli that paired them in an emotional and physical bond. They reached the pinnacle of rarified ecstasy that only true lovers experience. Then they slept again, secure in each other’s arms.

  Elyse woke up feeling a stunning s
ense of happiness. Barry’s sensitive lovemaking had left her with such feelings of fulfillment, her whole body throbbed. She reached over to touch him. The space was empty . . . it had all been the cruelest of dreams. She was alone. Tearfully she stroked her abdomen, sliding her fingers over her silk nightie. The baby . . . it was still there, safe and secure. Barry’s child. She was not alone.

  * * *

  For her dinner with Ace Elyse wore a black silk blouse with a white pleated skirt that ended just below her knees. She took with her a yellow cashmere cardigan sweater as insurance against sudden inside air condi tioning. She wondered if she looked matronly . . . or when she would begin to look pregnant.

  Dr. Kellogg had given her a tentative due date of April twentieth. “You will have a spring baby,” he’d said. She found that Dr. Barnes had been right. She liked Anthony Kellogg the moment she met him. Tall, with warm brown skin, his youthful appearance was lessened somewhat by his bald head. But he welcomed his new patient with caring eyes, and his manner was alert and professional.

  The taxi driver dropped her off in front of the Museum of Fine Arts and Elyse found her way into the lobby, following the excited crowd of well-groomed, well-dressed black people. There were few dressed in African garb, dashikis, head scarves of Kente cloth, but most were outfitted in elegant clothes.

  She looked around and finally spotted Ace at the ticket counter. She watched as he approached the ticket seller, paid for his tickets, slipped them into his jacket pocket. He turned around and she could see him scanning the room. She had to admit to herself that he was one of the handsomest men in the crowd. When she saw his eyes move in her direction, she waved her hand. His face lit up and he hurried to her side.

  “Elyse, good! Glad you made it. You look wonderful!” His green eyes flushed in a warm welcome.

  He kissed her cheek.

  “You look great yourself, Ace. It’s good to see you.”

  “Come, let’s go on up to the gallery. Do you mind the stairs, or do you want to use the elevator?”

  “The stairs, fine with me.”